Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
