does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
then he tried to convert me to islam
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
