I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
PANTIES FOUND
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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