At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
