How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
