So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
We had to coat check the pizza.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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