I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
we made out on top of his cat.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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