i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
