the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
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