You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
