i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
