whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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