Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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