3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
