Where is the hickey?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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