if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I'm at about main and main street
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
You have to summon your inner elephant
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
i am craving dick and cupcakes
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize