Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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