Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
