Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
