He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize