I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
