Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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