Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
