It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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