DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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