It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Ketchup is God's man juice
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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