Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
