so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
