Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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