absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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