also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
