my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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