life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
