About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
