Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
