Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
