shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
