Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
