my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
