Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Randomize
