i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I love having hate sex.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
