can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize