Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
