So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize