what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
