Nicole vs. Life
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize