you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Randomize
