I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Randomize
