So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
