whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
