I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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