i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I hope mine doesn't look like that
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
