I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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