i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
