I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
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