He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
