You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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