You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
