id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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