Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
He did a backflip because drugs
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
