Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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