yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
