xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
